Manufactured

Suddenly it became impossible to be informal.

There were no jokes anymore. No space for laughing or irony.

There was no slack in the schedule to ensure there was enough scope to complete the necessary tasks.

There was not enough time to complete the work and it had to be left with loose ends.

Those who took pride in their work; those who tried to plan ahead and pre-empt problems, were seen to be dragging their heels, seen to be slow, lazy and awkward, and were stigmatised as trouble makers.

A matrix of monitoring was imposed to prove that there were no serious problems.

Success was then dependant upon smooth completion of monitoring. Statistics became their primary responsibility.

The paperwork had boxes for ticks where customers could express their delight. Those who couldn't obtain the relevant ticks were re-deployed out-of-the-way where they might become disgruntled and depart of their own accord.

It became essential to cover up problems as far as possible.

It wasn't exactly a blame culture. More a case of being seen to be competent; being someone who could smile and assure others that there were no problems; getting the right ticks.

And it wasn't about dishonesty. It was more about managing expectations and shielding customers from inappropriate and irrelevant interruptions to their delight with the service they had received.

Eventually it reached the point where the actual work was irrelevant. The business consisted entirely of maintaining relationships with smiles and assurances; papering over cracks and keeping the paintwork fresh, even if the underlying framework was rather shaky.

Ultimately a team of legislative marketing consultants was groomed and applied to the task of stripping everything back so that no time or money was wasted on non-core activities. Efficiency demanded only those features that were not irredeemably criminal and which did not spoil the tick system.

(illegal activities were acceptable so long as they could be remedied when detected. Activities that generated dissatisfaction were also encouraged provided they increased revenue and didn't adversely affect the monitoring of customer satisfaction via ticking.)

Everything had transformed. There were no colleagues or partners anymore. We were all customers of everybody else. Consumers of immaculate service. Unshakable and sturdy as any great dogma in history.